Once when Alice was asleep, The Duchess had even said,
“I’m not wearing any undies!”
But Alice could not confirm this when she awoke to find The Duchess going through her dreams with a fine-toothed comb and comparing them to her women’s journal collection from the 1950’s.
No Petting!
Petting?
Everybody talked about it but no-one would say what it was.
Pettifogger pets pettish petaurist petrified
Petersham petrochemistry for pete’s sake
Pestle petunse pittitus petrole petit peter
Pays paul peter pets pail petrolatum petty
Pets? Petticoat petrel petunia petal
Then she found out it was to do with the holes in your clothing. The pockets, the gaps between the buttons, the slither between the fabric and your waist, the neckline of your dress, the belts and buttons, the press-studs and clips. The Velcro, the ties and the meeting of lips.
Meanwhile she suspected The Duchess of saying one thing and doing another. Whilst her long sleeves and high collars covered her amply, the wind could still whistle up inside her skirt to flirt with her bare legs. Besides, where did she get that whining piglet from?
In Alice’s mind, there was a father for the piglet.
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